At first I really had little sympathy for the husband. His wife needed him and he withdrew. I gradually came to see that he wanted Elinor to need him.
I also had little sympathy for Gina. She appears so flaky at the beginning of the book.
I can relate to Elinor saying that she didn't mind being forty, she just couldn't bring herself to say it. I work with lots of teachers right out of college. They frequently make me feel ancient. The closer I get to the big 5-0, the less comfortable I feel telling my age.
I just realized that my comment about Ted and Elinor didn't say what I meant to say. Ted and Elinor withdrew from each other. Ted wanted Elinor to need him. She was in so much emotional pain from the infertility treatments, she could only focus on her own needs. She couldn't really see that Ted was hurting emotionally too.
I like the way Lolly Winston develops her characters. You find out little bits about them along the way. They are complicated but you can empathize with them.
In a nutshell...I approached my 40's with the attitude that now was the time to do new and exciting things. I think my 50's are going to be the decade of making changes in order to reclaim myself. I think that is what Elinor is doing through her emotional pain..reclaiming herself...not who she thinks she should be for Ted...but for herself. Not an easy thing to do. In fact, to some extent all the characters are trying to find that....which I think entails deciding what is important to you and your happiness. No we can't always have what we want...as Gina tries to explain to Toby...but what is wrong in trying to have it? This was a painful book to read in many ways but I'm glad I read it. Winston did a great job in making her characters behave like real people....messy, hurtful, comforting, trying to make everyone happy with the result everybody is miserable....I like real people.
Did you finish it? Did you find the "ah hah!" moment for Ted?
I also came to sympathize with Gina. You can't always control who you fall in love with. She wants what is best for her child, but she also wants something that is good for herself.
I agree with you about finding happiness. WE all need to take time for ourselves. I see myself evolving too. Last summer made me so aware that I need to spend time doing things for myself, things that make me happy. Part of that is getting away from my family so that I can appreciate them when I am with them.
I loved the way Lolly Winston develops her characters. You may want to check out Good Grief. Different topic but very good. The first part was very difficult to get through emotionally for me; it was worth getting through the rough part to get to the resolution.
4 comments:
At first I really had little sympathy for the husband. His wife needed him and he withdrew. I gradually came to see that he wanted Elinor to need him.
I also had little sympathy for Gina. She appears so flaky at the beginning of the book.
I can relate to Elinor saying that she didn't mind being forty, she just couldn't bring herself to say it. I work with lots of teachers right out of college. They frequently make me feel ancient. The closer I get to the big 5-0, the less comfortable I feel telling my age.
I just realized that my comment about Ted and Elinor didn't say what I meant to say. Ted and Elinor withdrew from each other. Ted wanted Elinor to need him. She was in so much emotional pain from the infertility treatments, she could only focus on her own needs. She couldn't really see that Ted was hurting emotionally too.
I like the way Lolly Winston develops her characters. You find out little bits about them along the way. They are complicated but you can empathize with them.
In a nutshell...I approached my 40's with the attitude that now was the time to do new and exciting things. I think my 50's are going to be the decade of making changes in order to reclaim myself. I think that is what Elinor is doing through her emotional pain..reclaiming herself...not who she thinks she should be for Ted...but for herself. Not an easy thing to do. In fact, to some extent all the characters are trying to find that....which I think entails deciding what is important to you and your happiness. No we can't always have what we want...as Gina tries to explain to Toby...but what is wrong in trying to have it?
This was a painful book to read in many ways but I'm glad I read it. Winston did a great job in making her characters behave like real people....messy, hurtful, comforting, trying to make everyone happy with the result everybody is miserable....I like real people.
Did you finish it? Did you find the "ah hah!" moment for Ted?
I also came to sympathize with Gina. You can't always control who you fall in love with. She wants what is best for her child, but she also wants something that is good for herself.
I agree with you about finding happiness. WE all need to take time for ourselves. I see myself evolving too. Last summer made me so aware that I need to spend time doing things for myself, things that make me happy. Part of that is getting away from my family so that I can appreciate them when I am with them.
I loved the way Lolly Winston develops her characters. You may want to check out Good Grief. Different topic but very good. The first part was very difficult to get through emotionally for me; it was worth getting through the rough part to get to the resolution.
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